Google


A Guide to Political Blog Comments Posters

August 22, 2010 | Filed Under Blogging, Humor, Inernet, Technology, Warner Todd Huston | Comments Off

-By Warner Todd Huston

I want everyone to know that I love the comments posters on political blogs. OK, truth be known I love the ones that agree with me. The others, not so much. But I really can see the logic to those that say comments are the worst part of the Internet Tubes. 99% of the time the comments section add nothing but vitriol and pointless blather…. not to mention a dearth of grammar and spelling. While there’s the occasional really detailed and good comment that does add to the thread, the good ones are far and few between.

Heck, there’ve been many months when I’ve just shut down the comments section on my own blog due to spamming. Only recently have I turned it back on.

But whatever the propriety of a blog comments section, the sad fact is they are all the same on nearly every political blog. It’s probably just a reflection of human nature, but these comments sections are all so eerily similar as to cause one to wonder if comments sections everywhere are all written by the same few post-happy people.

This may be the same on all blogs, but it is at least true on political clogs. You tell me. Go to a political blog comments section and I’ll bet you’ll find these commenters:

The I Luv U Man

No matter what is posted as the main post, this commenter loves it and thinks it was written by the smartest person in the world. This commenter is SURE that this post is the smartest thing a human has ever written, that is until the next post comes up and then THAT post is just as brilliant.

The Vulgarian

For this guy everything is turned into a curse filled rant or a sexual innuendo.

The Let’s Talk About the Important Issues Guy

This guy thinks that no one in the world knows more about “the real issues” than him and that everything everyone else is talking about “isn’t important.” He thinks he’s the only person in the world that knows anything about what we all should be talking about.

The Naysayer

It doesn’t matter what anyone says, this guy will state just the opposite. Even if he has to twist himself in a pretzel or is contradicting what he said in another thread, this guy insists you are wrong and that he is right. This guy is called a troll by nearly every other commenter but he is never deterred.

Mr. Did You Just Realize This?

This guy doesn’t understand the difference between reporting on a political incident, analyzing it, and drawing a conclusion, and never having “realized” it all before. This commenter is stupid enough not to have read the two thousand previous posts that raise similar questions and draw similar conclusions. But mostly this guy is just trying to impress everyone that he is worldly and smarter than everyone else. Truth is he is only impressing himself.

The NO DUH! Guy

Whatever news you have, whatever story you relate, THIS guy already knew it. Not only that but he insists that everyone knew it. Why this guy that seems to already know everything bothers to come to the website, however, is the real mystery? He is a close cousin to Mr. Did You Just Realize This.

The You Suckist

That’s right, you suck and this nitwit can’t wait to tell you all about it.

Multiple Registrar

He’s a troll. He registers about 25 times and has as many screen names. He’s been banned at least three times in the past. He’s a moron.

The Hey I Know This Guy’s Other Screen Name Guy

This guy is SURE that every new poster is really a new fake screen name of the guy that registers 25 times. He just KNOWS it, man. IT’S OBVIOUS, ya know?

The Visualist

See this commenter says that you are wrong because you are fat, or ugly, or bald. Even if you said that the sky is blue, you are fat so you must be wrong.

The Scholar

Let’s face it. No one is smarter than the Scholar. He knows everything in the world (thanks to Google) and you are just too stupid, simpleminded, or childish to understand what adults like him understand.

The Grammar Nazi

This guy is different than the scholar because he isn’t interested in facts. He’ll look over your main post and if there is one single grammatical error or a single misspelling he’ll claim that everything you have to say or ever did say in your entire life is now to be discounted. He’ll do the same thing to other commenters in the comments section. Certainly a main post or a comment that is rife with misspellings and lapses in grammar is worth derision, but the Grammar Nazi will treat a single misspelling as proof of utter mental inferiority no matter what else is going on. Like all Nazis, the Grammar Nazi has neither common sense, tolerance, nor humanity imbued in his empty soul. He knows how to spell “pedantic” but he sure doesn’t seem to understand its meaning!

(if the site has “like” features) The I’m Flagging This Guy

He hates you and he’s flagging your comment as inappropriate. Is your comment inappropriate? Probably not but let’s not let reality get in the way of The I’m Flagging You Guy.

Mr. Single Issue (Or Captain Conspiracy)

So you have a nice main post about your cute doggie, maybe a local ballot issue, or a recent bad flying experience, or even the loveliness of flowers. But THIS commenter just wants to hijack the thread and start talking about “the One-World Government,” or “UFOs,” or “the Republicans,” or “the Democrats,” or “the Jews,” or “the Illuminati,” or “the WTO,” or “the Bilderbergers,” or “pro-life,” or “pro-abortion,” or whatever one issue he ALWAYS tries to divert a thread to.

The Text Addled Fool

rites evrything in txtspeak and lols evrything and says u shud not b mean bout riting rite cuz it aint important anyway u kno? lol

The I’m Just Joking Guy

This guy WAS being mean in his comment, but he added a smiley to try and give himself some cover so that he could say, “I was just joking.” Face it. He was being mean.

The Can’t We All Get Alonger

He hates people with strong opinions because it’s mean, you know? He wants everyone to be happy and nice because life is too short to be wasting time like this…. and he wastes his time to tell us this, too.

The You Can’t Tell Someone to Shut Up so You Should Shut Up Guy

This guy thinks that you shouldn’t be allowed to complain about something that an actor, singer, or politician said because they have free speech and you should shut up because, you see, they have free speech. Does this nitwit have the slightest inkling that he has no idea what free speech even means? Does he even know what “inking” means? Of course not. But you should just shut up about it.

The Fatalist

That’s right. We are all wasting our time because nothing in life matters. Religion is a lie, politics is a sham, history is BS, man is doomed and screw it all anyway.
____________
“The only end of writing is to enable the reader better to enjoy life, or better to endure it.”
–Samuel Johnson

Warner Todd Huston is a Chicago based freelance writer. He has been writing opinion editorials and social criticism since early 2001 and before that he wrote articles on U.S. history for several small American magazines. His political columns are featured on many websites such as Andrew Breitbart’s BigGovernment.com, BigHollywood.com, and BigJournalism.com, as well as RightWingNews.com, CanadaFreePress.com, StoptheACLU.com, AmericanDaily.com, among many, many others. Mr. Huston is also endlessly amused that one of his articles formed the basis of an article in Germany’s Der Spiegel Magazine in 2008.

For a full bio, please CLICK HERE.


Leave a Comment

If you would like to make a comment, please register to do so. I hate to do that but there are so many spam-bots out there that deleting spam comments would be a full time job if I were to just open it up for anyone without asking them to jump through a few hoops first.

You must be registered and logged in to post a comment. Anyone can register. No registrant's information is kept, used, or sold. CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

Social Networking


Help the Soldiers!



American Genius

Our Founding Ideas

"Governments are instituted among men,deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed." Declaration of Independence July 4, 1776





Enter your Email


Preview
Powered by FeedBlitz

Subscribe in a reader




Recently Written

  • 2014 Illinois Tea Party Tax Day Tea Party Rally in St. Charles
  • Writer Huston: Long Road Ahead for GM, But Don’t Count It Out
  • POLICE STATE: Feds Still Buying Tons of Ammunition
  • Pistol Turned to ‘Submachine Gun’ By Clueless Media
  • The Launch of the Black Conservatives Fund #SayItLoud Campaign
  • Church Wastes $22K On Metal ‘Homeless Jesus’ Statue Instead of Homeless
  • KMOX CBS Manufactures Journalism to Create ‘Outrage’ Over Confederate Flag
  • Obama’s Jackbooted Thugs Withdrawing From Bundy Ranch in Nevada?
  • Pick of Stephen Colbert Shows CBS Hates You, America
  • Racist: Illinois Democrat Calls Bi-Racial Republican a ‘Half’ of a Minority


  • What THEY Say:
    Foreign News In English




    Click HERE for information
    on my fedora collection.
    Antique Stetsons, hat history...



























    Contact Us

    Email Publius' Forum

    Archives

  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007
  • April 2007
  • March 2007
  • February 2007
  • January 2007
  • December 2006
  • January 2006
  • December 2005
  • November 2005
  • October 2005
  • September 2005
  • August 2005
  • July 2005
  • June 2005
  • May 2005
  • April 2005
  • March 2005
  • February 2005
  • January 2005



  • Add to Technorati Favorites


    Clicky Web Analytics